The Submarine Meet-Cute

Melody met Beth under circumstances that were both dire and predisposed both of them to disliking each other. Melody was a member of the Rochester Radar-invisible Submarine Club, while Beth was a member of the the rival club The Rochester Amateur Submariners, and the two groups, which had had bad blood between them for many years, decided to do under-lake maneuvers on the exact same day without informing the others. Since both of the groups did their parading in submarines that were effectively invisible, it was perhaps inevitable that they would crash into each other.

Melody, the captain of the “No Thanks”, the largest freshwater submarine in the world, first met Beth, who was first mate and torpedo liaison of the “Seven Knots”, the fastest submarine in the great lakes, when the two of them both got tangled in the same inverse anchor line deployed by the No Thanks. They were both in their ejection scuba suits, and they both hissed angry streams of bubbles at each other. It took them nearly two hours to untangle themselves from the anchor line, and by the end of it Melody had had to share her oxygen tank with Beth, and Beth had had to bite through a piece of webbing that was acting like a tourniquet around Melody’s hand. When they finally breached the surface of the water, with barely three minutes of oxygen left between the two of them, the anger they had at each other for belonging to their rival group had turned, through shear terror and cooperation, into something resembling friendship, and maybe even more than friendship.

Over the next two months, as the two clubs litigated the wreck in Coast Guard Admiralty Court, they fell in love, and when they eventually got married they had a wedding cake that had two figures of submarines – not on the top of the cake, like most wedding cakes, but buried all the way in the middle.


Written on 10/10/16 for a couple that wanted me to guess what their meet-cute story was.