The Bear

Kaitlyn and Joe were backpacking in the Adirondacks, miles away from civilization or other people, when all of a sudden an enormous bear came over a ridge, heading straight for them.

“Lo, bear, state your business and back off, unless you are itching for a fight,” said Joe.

“My business is my own, and I won’t back down from anyone. Not from a fight with a bobcat, or the president, and not from a fight with you, Joe,” said the bear.

Joe stepped in front of Kaitlyn and shuffled off his backpack. He got into proper boxing position. The bear charged, roaring, and Joe let loose a hard right haymaker. He connected, hard, with the side of the bear’s head.

The bear continued passed Joe, and collapsed to the ground. Joe stood over him.

“You’ve bested me,” said the bear.

“You don’t need to tell me that, bear. Now state your business,” Joe said.

“I had come to ask your girlfriend to Prom,” said the bear, “but obviously I failed. You’d better ask her, now.”

“Don’t tell my boyfriend what to do, bear,” said Kaitlyn.

“He’s right, though,” said Joe. “I can’t think of a better time to ask you to prom than right after cold-clocking a bear. Kaitlyn, will you go to Prom with me?”


Written on 3/25/16 at the Strong Museum of Play for a young man trying to come up with a way to cleverly ask his girlfriend to Prom. I don’t know if she said yes.

The Bear