There once was a frog who ate sound. He was a very hungry frog, in fact, he was always hungry, and the pond where he was born was much too quiet for a frog as hungry as him. So the frog moved to a rail yard, and he ate every whistle and chug-chug-chug of starting steam engines, and in no time at all he grew big and fat.
But this frog was a very hungry frog, and even though he was big and fat he still went to bed hungry every night. So once the frog had grown as big as a train conductor, he snuck into the engineer’s room at the front of the train and pulled on the train whistle. It was so loud and delicious the frog decided he’d never let go of the whistle. And as he sat there with his frog fingers twined in the whistle-rope, he got bigger and bigger and bigger. He got so big he took up the entire engineer’s cabin, and the whistle-rope got stuck. He got bigger and bigger like a balloon and all the people in the train yard looked on in fear as this frog got bigger and bigger. He grew taller and wider, heavier and rounder, and he showed no signs of stopping. The whistle kept blowing. The frog’s huge hand was still stuck pulling the rope. It was only when the frog was four miles tall and two miles wide that his ears were so far away from the whistle that he couldn’t hear it anymore. And he was as hungry as he ever was. So the frog looked at the moon, and thought it looked tasty. He stuck his tongue out and it took two days for his tongue to reach to the moon, but reach it it did. And then he pulled, and the moon came.
The moon crashed into the earth, and the sound was the most delicious thing the frog had ever heard. But when the armageddon ended, the frog was alone in space. And in space, the hungry frog quickly learned, there is no sound at all.
Written on 3/12/16 at RMSC.