Ontological Surgery

“I don’t understand,” said Nidhi, “what did the operation do?”

“That’s the amazing thing,” said Anant, “It didn’t do anything to him at all!”

“But then if nothing was done to him, then he is the same dog,” Nidhi said.

“No,” said Anant, “He’s exactly the same, except he’s no longer a dog.”

“So then he isn’t the same,” said Nidhi.

“No, he is the same,” said Anant. “The only thing that changed about WallE is he’s no longer a dog.”

“So what is he, then?” asked Nidhi.

“What do you mean?” asked Anant.

“If he’s not a dog, then what is he?” Nidhi asked again.

“That’s what he is, he’s not a dog,” said Anant.

“You can’t be a ‘not’!” said Nidhi.

“He isn’t a ‘not’,” said Anant, “Just look at him, he’s exactly what he was before, playful, loving, loyal, kind of dumb but only kind of, he’s WallE. Just not a dog.”

“He’s WallE, just not a dog,” Nidhi said.

“Exactly,” said Anant.

“You turned your dog into a not-dog for me?” Nigh asked.

“Well, I mean, I did it for WallE too, and also for me – say I did it for us,” Anant said.

“He is pretty cute, you know, for a not-dog,” said Nidhi.

“Oh he’s easily the best not-dog in the world,” said Anant, “Can he stay with us?”

“Of course,” said Nidhi, “I’m not afraid of not-dogs.”


Written on 10/28/15 for a man whose fiancée was afraid of his dog.

Podcast episode:

024 Ontological Surgery (Downloadable mp3 – right click the link and choose “Save Link As…”)

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